Am I scared to move forward?
To leave the past behind?
To do the things that are healthy for me?
And to attract the things I want?
Not in the slightest!
And yet I feel as if it will never happen.
Certainly, no one is able to read my writings and take them to heart,
No one is able to understand what I say.
This is why I don’t succeed,
Not because I do not have heart,
Not because I do not know what I say,
But simply because, whenever my works are read, they simply say, “what?”
They cannot understand,
And it breaks my heart.
Their perspective is so limited
So fragile
So closed in.
And then someone comes along and is able to understand.
Someone, one of the few who can see what I mean,
Perhaps they’re reading this now.
But in reality,
The dream I used to have,
To write like I am now for a living,
Is all but shattered.
For who wants to support someone they don’t understand?
But then, if I write about relationships or CBD, my soul becomes crushed,
Because I know I’m not using my intelligence to the fullest extent.
So what to do?
Am I to be penniless simply because what I enjoy doing doesn’t have a market?
It seems unfair.
However, perhaps I’m simply blowing this out of proportion.
Perhaps I’m wrong, and people can understand.
Perhaps I’m wrong and people will support me when I need it most, if for no other reason than simply because I have a heart.
I will keep going,
And we shall see.
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