Gabriel Mohr

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Truth As Reality – Why You Should Tell The Truth

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Quick Facts

-The word ‘truth’ can point to a concept (“she’s telling the truth,”), a felt emotional state that we can live in, or both!

-It’s possible to be innocent and not know the truth, but to know the truth and ignore it is a whole ‘nother ball game.

Intro

Today I’ll be writing about my discoveries about truth, and why it’s one way we can live a (mentally) healthy life. I’ll be writing about the extent I went to to get this information, and how we can think about truth from a different (and I argue better) perspective. Enjoy the read!

The Incident

Some of us instinctively suspect that telling the truth is better than lying. People who lie often have terrible lives in one way or another, but I wanted to know why that is; I wanted to know why there is such a tremendous penalty for lying and such a rewarding experience for telling the truth. I’ve put a lot of research into this post, and what I mean by that is I let myself spend some time in county jail to observe the people who were there.

No, I didn’t ask the guards if I could stay in a cell for the night; I let myself get caught and charged with possession of psilocybin mushrooms and marijuana, which landed me in prison the “legitimate” way. I was only there for 5 days, which seems like a shame, but here’s what happened. I was put in the same cell as a “war vet” (that’s what he called himself, but I’m not sure if that’s the truth).

He showed me scars on his head from a bullet wound, scarring on his chest from open-heart surgery, and what was supposedly a bullet in his knee. His first two scars held true – there was a scar behind his ear that was definitely from a bullet zinging past his head, and there was a scar on his chest that was definitely from open-heart surgery. However, his behavior over the five days was interesting – it was as if he had to prove something to me and that he couldn’t take no for an answer.

He kept telling me about the war and how gruesome it was; he kept telling me about his PTSD, how many prisons he had been to, that he was homeless by choice, that he had a part-time job, and the only reason he was there was because of a drinking problem… In other words, he wouldn’t speak unless he was building himself up. He listened to what I had to say with one ear open and the other closed. That meant helping him solve his problems was out of the question; I simply listened while he spoke and provided emotional healing whenever I could. The others in the jail were more corrupt but only two are notable, and since I never learned their names we can call them Bobby and Randy.

Both of these guys were on their way to state prison, and one of them had been sentenced to 14 months in the county jail alone, which was slightly unusual. They were allowed to spend a lot of time in the main room since they were sentenced to prison. Because of this, Bobby was able to walk around the main room – and did so, constantly. He (seemingly without a care in the world) walked along the outside of our cell doors as if he were the guard making sure we didn’t escape. The reason I say this is because I made sure to stare at him whenever he would pass my cell door, and if he met my eyes I could see the frightened child he was trying to hide.

Randy never did this, but there was something strange about him as well; he was trying (and failing miserably) to play the fool by laughing it off. He disregarded everyone as foolish as well, and often his laughter had a tinge of sadness thrown in there for anyone who was listening closely. Now, these two were best buds, and for good reason – they had never met outside of the prison, but somehow it seemed like they knew each other as childhood friends. They talked for hours and hours about prisons, deep Mexico, where they’ve been, and what they’ve done…

The chatter only ceased when they were in their individual cells or eating their meals. They managed to piss the rest of us off quite successfully.

These guys had something to prove; Bobby had to prove that he was the man by patrolling our cells and Randy had to prove that he wasn’t a complete fool by telling us about his experience and his knowledge. When they met each other in jail they saw each other as “friends” because they were very sad at the core of their being.

This happened on a subconscious level, of course – if they had been conscious of their efforts to cover up their sadness they probably wouldn’t have committed the crimes that got them locked up in the first place.

Having Something To Prove vs. Telling The Truth

Outside of jail, I’ve seen many people share the information they know to cover something we aren’t supposed to see. It’s often unknown to the individual that they’re doing this, and if you ask them what they’re hiding and why they’ll look at you suspiciously as if you were the monster. Enter: Being knowingly ignorant vs. being innocently ignorant.

Being truly ignorant means having absolutely no idea as to the truth of the situation while being knowingly ignorant means ignoring something that you don’t want to face.

All of us are innocently ignorant of many aspects of existence but only some of us are intentionally hiding (probably also ignoring) something. If we hide something (doesn’t matter what it is) we’re concerned about our own safety, but perhaps it’s best to figure out what you’re hiding if you don’t already know and ask yourself, “Why am I hiding this exactly? What do I gain from this?”Otherwise, it starts to build up.

You’ll start to become afraid of other people exposing your secret and you’ll feel the ever-growing need to prove yourself so that the thing can stay hidden. This, then, begins to build and build and build until you find yourself in prison, wondering why society has to be so messed up while probably boiling up in a cauldron of resentment.

The Truth

Once someone thinks it all the way through something interesting happens; they often decide that lying can only bring about unnecessary suffering, so they start telling the truth. Usually, it stings at first, and their friends and family look at them as if they were from another planet – however, somehow this pain feels better than the pain they felt before; this kind of pain is justifiable since they are telling the truth. And, of course, the initial sting slowly transforms into a kind of confidence and self-worth that people can’t help but admire and appreciate.

But why, exactly? Why does covering something up land you in prison and why does telling the truth garner respect? It is simply because lying and truth-telling are both words that point to actual variations of the felt reality. When you lie you are cultivating and living in the felt experience that people tend to label, “Shady, suspicious, sketchy,” etc. When you tell the truth, however, you are cultivating and living in the felt experience labeled as, “Honorable, respectful, reliable,” etc etc.

This is the fact that most of us don’t know; some of us think we should get what we want, however, we don’t. One thing to know, however, is that the means of obtaining what you want will determine the emotional reality you cultivate while you’re reaching for your goal. We’ve all held on to a lie and had it eat us up on the inside and we’ve all told somebody the truth and felt amazing while we did so.

Conclusion

If one were to ask themselves, “What am I hiding and why” and answer themselves honestly and truthfully, something good will begin to happen. If you consciously decide to live in truth all of the time you will begin to see the beauty in life and you will begin to succeed in every way imaginable. Perhaps you already have; if that’s the case then you know what I mean 🙂

What Is Self-Integration, and Why Is It Meaningful?

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Quick Facts

-Self-integration is the process of integrating every part of your personality into one, whole self!

-Resistance, created by ourselves or picked up from others, often keeps us from being our whole selves. Self-integration is the “cure” for this. It is also the cure for ignoring and/or suppressing yourself.

-Participating in self-integration makes you a whole human being since you’re conscious of your entire personality!

-Self-integration can be painful and scary, but it’s more than worth it!

-Going through self-integration gives you more self-control and more enjoyment of your life the more you do it.

-Asking yourself questions about yourself speeds up the process and makes it easier!

Intro

Self-integration is the process of consciously disidentifying from your subconscious processes, seeing/feeling them completely, and consciously integrating them into your personality. This is a way to go about psychological healing as it helps you bring up and properly process trauma/unwanted thought patterns so that you can “face your fears” and release them into the ether!

What I’m about to tell you may seem like it’s all sunshine and rainbows – and some of it is! But some of it requires looking deep into yourself and shining a flashlight on the parts that want to stay hidden within your psyche. These parts (the psychic processes that exist within our individual subconscious minds) are usually the “nasty feelings” we feel if we’re going about our daily lives and we say something that we’re “not supposed” to say, or if we’re sitting in our home and suddenly thoughts start racing through your head that you don’t want to think about, or if you become angry while you’re at work, or if you’re anxious because you’re about to go out on a date.

The good news is every problem you have is your own and, therefore, solvable! From what I’ve observed, the most effective way to solve these problems is by consciously integrating all of your psychic processes so that you may form a complete perspective of life (perspective is everything, after all), experience an abundance of mental health, and much more!

The Decision to Integrate

Integrating yourself is no easy task unless you choose otherwise. Once you decide to go down the path of integration there will be a fair amount of suffering and a fair amount of pleasure – however, both experiences will be meaningful and will lead to a responsible, healthy lifestyle that will draw other people toward you like a magnet (in a good way)! If you haven’t made the choice then it’s ultimately your decision – you can decide to live your life the same as you always have, or you can choose to see all of your personal subconscious (even unconscious) processes you’ve suppressed and/or see the collective subconscious mind and the meaning therein! I will not persuade you in one direction or another since both kinds of people (the integrated and non-integrated) will find their lives to be meaningful, albeit in very different ways.

I will, however, speak the truth; needing/wishing to realize yourself will ultimately lead to you realizing yourself in one way or another, and integrating your subconscious psychic processes into your conscious personality will help you realize yourself! It is one of many paths but I speak of it because it has personally aided me immensely and because I’ve come to understand that integration will help anyone who is willing to undertake the process, you included! It’s also important to note that if you make this decision you won’t be able to turn back; that is, you normally cannot fit back into your old personality once you’ve gained the wisdom and knowledge that comes with integration until you are very advanced in this area of life!

It’s Important To Have An Open Mind

When integrating yourself it’s extremely important to know that you’ll come across psychic processes that will appear to be one thing and really be something different. Here’s an example:

“An image comes up from the depths of your mind. You are on the street, but nobody else is. It’s dark, misty, and smells faintly of homeless cats. Out of nowhere a man jumps out of the bushes and rushes towards you.”

At this point, most people would block this image out since they have a strong fear of death! They would dismiss the image as “a nightmare” or a “terrible thought” (depending on if they’re awake or asleep). However, in this hypothetical scenario, the person experiencing the subconscious image has decided to have an open mind and see what it really is they need to see, and so the story ends as such:

“As he rushes towards you you remain calm. Frighteningly calm. When he’s just about to tackle you, you move to the side and he falls through the ground into a bottomless void, lost but not forgotten.”

When you ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way” you will (likely) tend to answer yourself through what I like to call “mental videos,” and these “mental videos” are going to feel unpleasant until they are truly realized (in other words, until the video ends without any prompting from yourself). It will feel even more unpleasant to ask yourself this question and then proceed to consciously suppress the image as it comes to your attention, although this is quite common when you’re first starting out.

If you’re reading this post then you (probably) have an open mind! However, it is always important to consciously open your mind by saying something to the extent of “I choose to have an open mind” as often as possible so that the integration process isn’t unnecessarily painful! If you do this enough some of these subconscious processes may approach you without the need to search for them, and this is the ideal state to be in – a state of complete acceptance and trust in your self (your thoughts, mental videos, images, beliefs, feelings, etc)!

Societal Boundaries

Some of our repressed qualities come from accepting or denying parts of life that other people accept or deny. When we’re born we’re told what we can and cannot do, and then we grow up and tell other people what they can and cannot do. This has led to a society that (as a whole) accepts certain things (such as football) and (as a whole) rejects/doesn’t know much about other things (like spirituality).

Unfortunately for us Americans, many of us do not live in a society that values (or is even knowledgeable about) mental health, so following the crowd will almost always lead to compliance and suffering, but most of us have followed the crowd enough to be psychologically damaged and in need of integration.

We have the church, for example. One of the biggest rules of the church is to refrain from sexuality until you are married and to only have sex with your partner. However, if there’s one thing you don’t want to do it’s repressing a desire that you feel. This doesn’t only apply to sexual desire – it can manifest as a desire to see a movie, travel, hang out with a certain group of people, etc etc. The reason for this is that repression always leads to an increase in neuroticism (the personality trait). Invariably. All the time.

However, the church isn’t the only social construction that has the potential to rob us of our mental health – almost all social constructions exist to turn a profit (politics, government, most corporations, etc) and/or are misguided in their ways. Some of them (like the church and the government) are even interested in asserting and maintaining control over our minds, and this is a big part of the “social awakening” that you could be going through right now. I won’t get into this much further (I’ll cover it in a future post) but watch for any organization that imposes boundaries on other people in one form or another, and ask yourself if they have imposed such a boundary onto you, as this may contribute to your need for integration.

We also have these deadly things called social norms, and they (usually) don’t explicitly tell us what we can and cannot do (like the law does) but people who follow these norms live by an assumption that looks something like this: “If you do this a certain way, we’ll accept and respect you. If you decide to do it a different way we’ll have to pretend we don’t know you, we may even treat you with disgust, and we certainly won’t be able to accept you as you are.” Many, many people fall into the trap of following social norms since most of us have the need to feel accepted, but what they don’t realize is that they’re rejecting certain parts of themselves when they conform to society’s standards, which in turn creates neuroticism inside the individual’s psyche that needs to be healed.

In order to move outside of “the circle of society,” we must become aware of our society’s customs, norms, dos and don’ts, and what’s acceptable and what isn’t. It’s also important to be aware of the norms and dos and don’ts of the community (whether that be your church, your school, etc) you grew up in and the community you’re living in now (provided you’ve moved at one point or another). Being aware of these rules will help you understand the people who live(d) by them, and particularly how the people in your community treated you while growing up as a child. Once you know the dos and don’ts of your community, then you can get a pretty good idea of which parts of you you were taught to suppress, and these are the parts that are asking to consciously be integrated into your personality.

It should be noted that time is mostly wasted by mourning the past; that is to say, we can blame other people for the problems we have, but the hurt we feel comes from the expectation that such people were supposed to do better and treat us better than they did. In reality, we are the ones who control ourselves, even if someone has convinced us that we should control ourselves in a certain way. If you didn’t know that before, you know it now, and now you have the choice to ignore this fact or to keep it in mind as we move forward to the next section!

Personal Experiences

There is another kind of neuroticism that can take place, but this is more of a personal nature than what I’ve described above. Let’s say you’re a small child, and you’re about to go on your first airplane flight. You may be excited because you’re going to do a big grownup thing that you’ve only heard about up until this point. Your parents give you a window seat, the captain announces take off, and before you know it you’re soaring 40,000 feet above the ground! You decide to look down to see what it’s like and suddenly you’re stricken with a stifling fear that makes you quickly look away, and this fear (albeit unconsciously) stays with you until adulthood as a somewhat common “fear of flying.”

Obviously, the possibilities are infinite, but I will point out that personal neuroticism is usually much more meaningful to overcome than social neuroticism. It is usually the case that one awakens to the state of their community before awakening to their own personal trauma within. It’s also easier and better to heal personal trauma since by doing this, you (usually) skip the step of being angry at society for causing all of your problems anyway!

Subconscious Repression

Whether suggested by society or simply because of personal preference, repression is done by ourselves to ourselves. This fact can be easily conceptualized, but it can be very difficult to fully realize since most of us are very used to repressing the parts of life we don’t agree with. But this is good news in the sense that we have the ability to find the parts of ourselves that are repressed and integrate them into our conscious lives!

It will become apparent that healing your repression gives more meaning than healing socially encouraged repression, however, both sources of repression must be addressed by you and it can be found to be one or the other by your own judgment, and both can be healed through your own power.

Here is the process:

1. Sit in a quiet environment, away from others. The reason for this is so that you can observe the thoughts/feelings running through your mind, heart, soul, and body.

2. Feel the feelings and think the thoughts that you deem uncomfortable. There is no need to do anything except breathe during this stage, and I recommend that you attempt to see the pictures and/or mental videos that are associated with such thoughts/feelings in your mind.

3. It may go down in intensity on its own, or it may not. Either way, it’s best to consciously accept these repressed/unintegrated parts of you and see anything they have to show you in your mind’s eye. This can simply be done by saying “I choose to accept these parts of me and treat them with love and compassion.”

4. Disidentify from it by saying, “I choose to disidentify from this belief/feeling.” Then, ask yourself, “Why do I think or feel this way?” The answer you receive is an intuitive answer (I.E. it will be from yourself to yourself) that may lead to more questions. Answering these follow-up questions until no more questions are asked is the doorway to realizing the next subconscious process that is asking to be integrated.

5. Repeat as needed!

It’s important to note that you aren’t trying to get rid of these parts of yourself; instead, you’re trying to accept them, knowing that they are a part of you (you can even choose to mature these parts of yourself)! This can either be depressing or liberating, depending on where you are in your development, but if you find this depressing then it is most important to ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” And this is where I start the next section.

Asking Questions

Asking yourself, “Why do I feel what I feel?” is the most important step after realizing what you feel. If you simply feel your subconscious pain you will see the images that accompany it, and that may be enough, but if the “problem” still lingers then the next step is to ask questions. If, for example, I’m feeling depressed then I can say, “I wish to feel this depression and accept it for what it is.” However, then I can ask, “Why do I feel depressed?” and come up with an answer; “Because I feel lonely.” Then I ask myself, “Why do I feel lonely?” only to find that I don’t have any real friends in my life. I can go even further and ask, “Why do I lack real friends?” and answer myself with, “Because I’m not a real friend myself.” So then I ask why that is, and I can answer myself by saying that I stay too busy to spend any quality time with genuinely good people.

The more you question your current state the more answers you will receive. Some of these answers will be welcome and some will be painful, but if you wish to integrate yourself then it’s best to find the root of an issue by consciously accepting the thought/feeling and then asking questions regarding it so that you may travel deeper into the root or find another issue altogether (both are possible).

Asking questions about your dreams will help you in this regard as well, and it’s easy – it simply involves asking yourself the significance of the dream that you remember from the previous night. If someone is particularly notable in your dream you may ask, “Why do I remember that person?” or “What was so interesting about that box?” The answers you receive will eventually point to a part of yourself that would like to be recognized, accepted, and integrated, but it’s time to end this quite lengthy post.

Conclusion

The steps and conceptualization are documented here but the experiences you have will make one of the greatest adventures of your life. Paying attention to your inner life is the first step towards healing yourself, and cultivating a loving attitude towards yourself (and life in general) is a very meaningful (and adventurous) path to take if you so choose to! If you enjoyed this post, you’ll probably enjoy the post I’ve written about emotional suppression as well!

Hey – do you feel like you need an abundance of love? Check out the surprise hiding behind this link! Have a wonderful day! 

On Disidentifying From Thoughts and Feelings

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Quick Facts

-We can ‘disidentify’ from thoughts and feelings! This helps us take control of and change the subconscious parts of ourselves that aren’t good for us.

-Doing this for every thought and feeling that controls us gives us a kind of peace, enjoyment, and self-control that is unrivaled!

Intro

Sometimes our thoughts and emotions get the better of us, and we don’t know why we think and feel the way we do. Disidentifying from these thoughts and emotions is an amazing way to analyze and control them so that they work for us instead of the other way around. Read on to find out more! Enjoy the article!

The Basic Info!

It’s very common to have an image that we like to have for ourselves and put out to the world. Some of us identify with our favorite sports teams, some of us with the state we’re from, some of us with certain phrases that stuck with us from childhood, some of us with the things we own, some of us with our bodies, our minds, our friends, our family… The list of possibilities is infinite.

When we say that “so-and-so has a big ego” we’re pointing out that so-and-so identifies with their set of particular thoughts and feelings very closely, and if you say anything that sounds like you might be devaluing any of their favorites they’ll defend themselves as if you personally attacked them with the intent to hurt them (depending on how closely they’re identified with such thoughts/feelings).

Of course, if you’re identified with something you can always disidentify from it. It can be difficult to fully disidentify from some of the things you’ve identified with over the years (especially if you brought them on as a child) but we’ll go through why you should disidentify and how you can disidentify.

It’s important to note that disidentifying from thoughts and feelings, in particular, doesn’t mean you’re suddenly free from feeling these thoughts and thinking these feelings. The opposite is the case; disidentifying from a thought or a feeling will often increase its intensity for a short while, but instead of this thought/feeling happening in the background without your conscious knowledge of it, it can be fully observed and seen/felt for what it is. Once a subconscious process is seen for what it really is it no longer has any control over your thoughts or feelings, and every subconscious process disidentified from is one step closer to peace. It’s also important to note that you can only disidentify from thoughts and feelings – attachment to physical objects, people, and activities aren’t possible, it’s only possible to identify with and disidentify from the thoughts/feelings that are produced by such people/things/perspectives/activities. 

How To Disidentify From Your Thoughts and Beliefs

From what I can tell there are three ways to approach this. The first and easiest way is to disidentify from something when it pops into your mind, even if you didn’t consciously search for it. This can be anything from a thought (“boy I hate it when so and so doesn’t do the dishes”) to a physical object that produces an emotional reaction (“that gun looks scary”) to an entire perspective that provokes a bothersome feeling (“what’s the point of life anyway?”). How you disidentify from the subject in question is you form a coherent sentence (“I hate it when such and such doesn’t vacuum the carpet”) and you think of a coherent sentence that is meant to separate your conscious self from whatever you’re disidentifying with (“I choose to disidentify from that thought”).

Sometimes an emotion or a thought may pop up that you have trouble putting into words; if/when this happens it’s important to stop what you’re doing and focus your energy into putting the feeling/thought into a sentence. Once you’re able to fully articulate the feeling/thought it will be much easier to see it for what it is, and therefore it will be much easier to disidentify from it. Again, the point is to feel the feeling and/or think thoughtfully, not turn away from it.

The second way is by consciously searching for things that bother you and disidentifying from them. This can be tricky since you cannot find what you’re looking for by thinking in a linear, direct path; if you wish to search for subconscious forces you’ll have to let your mind take you wherever it wants to go, and the thought/feeling you end up with may not be the one you set out to find, but it will probably still need to be disidentified from nonetheless. For example, you might set out to find the root of your anxiety but your mind may take you to the root of some unexpected sadness instead, and it’s best to go along with it and feel what your mind takes you to instead of resisting it with your conscious intention.

The third (and possibly best) way is by utilizing your dreams to clearly see the parts of you that you need to separate from. I had this happen just last night – I had finished eating pizza before I went to sleep, and in my dream, I was in the car with a very fat man who was eating everything he was given by other people in the car (mainly donuts). What I learned is that there’s a part of me that likes to eat without caring about the consequences, and since I didn’t disidentify from it had more or less controlled me up until the next morning when I woke up and properly disidentified from it.

Either path you take, any thought/perspective you want to disidentify from must be done consciously. After you’ve expressed conscious intention to disidentify from xyz there will probably be resistance in the form of thought and/or feeling – after all, you’ve kept this part of you for a long time and it’s served you well, why should you give it up? However, staying awake and aware will allow you to fully process the subconscious thought/feeling, and you’ll either feel worse (which simply means there’s more work to do) or you’ll feel better (which means your job is done, at least at the moment). Both results are fantastic, and doing this even once in your life will bring you one step closer to genuine peace.

This is also known as “integration.” Disidentifying from and fully processing thoughts or feelings is the same as consciously acknowledging the parts of yourself that you neglect and integrating them into your life.

Why Is Disidentification Important?

Chances are you get angry and anxious. Everybody gets angry and anxious at one point or another, but there is something we can do to help this. If you’re a clinically healthy person (in other words if you haven’t been clinically diagnosed with general anxiety disorder or any of its variants) chances are you get angry and/or anxious because, somewhere down the line, someone has threatened a part of you that you’re identified with and you feel the need to defend it/yourself. If you have been clinically diagnosed then you’re probably going to need more help than I can provide in this post; however, it’s possible this may help you (the clinically diagnosed) as well, I’m not entirely sure.

Disidentifying will also help you find your bliss (some might say “source” or your “center”). Imagine what it would be like if you disidentified from everything you’ve identified with along the way? If you did this you wouldn’t be afraid of death, and if you aren’t afraid of death you are truly free. As a side note, try disidentifying from the fear of death; it’s very hard, but the benefits are endless.

Lastly, disidentifying from your “favorites” helps open your mind so that you can see the psychic processes that go on within you. This is part of finding your bliss but I put it as a separate benefit because it’s an entire journey in and of itself, one that’s certainly worth completing due to the massive amounts of meaning felt while discovering such things.

Becoming less angry and anxious? Becoming blissful? Opening your mind to the reality inside of yourself? If you want all of these things, you can buy my overpriced book that beats around the bush for 3/4s of the time and gives you a useless solution at the very end! Only $49.99! Buy now!

What Should You Disidentify From?

Everything that bothers you, and everything that’s detrimental to you. If you feel dull, sad, angry, anxious, etc and you don’t know why there’s usually something you haven’t fully realized that’s trying to come into conscious attention, and that is what you disidentify from. You shouldn’t worry about disidentifying from the “wrong” things because anything you feel the need to disidentify from is worth disidentifying from for one reason or another, and you’ll know exactly what they are once you begin the process for yourself.

Is There Anything Else?

I’ve done my best to provide the concept of disidentification in this post, but the felt reality of it can only be experienced if you try it out for yourself. And so I close with the promise that this path does eventually lead to bliss even though it is the path less traveled, and even along the way you will begin to feel complete and realized as a true individual. Have a wonderful day! 

Those of the Body, and Those of the Mind – The Two Kinds of People and The Gap Between Them

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Quick Facts

-Some people are ‘of the mind.’ They think, theorize, and conceptualize. Some people are ‘of the body.’ They are sensual, like physical comforts and riches, and they’re usually okay with working.

-We usually misunderstand each other, hence the existence of this post!

Intro

Today we’ll be separating most of humanity into two kinds of people; people who use their minds, and people who are earthy by nature. We’ll do this because it’s helpful when we’re trying to understand each other and work together. Have a fun read!

My Observations

As I travel and observe I see many different kinds of people from many different kinds of backgrounds. Some seem kind and sweet, some seem diligent and studious, some seem like they need help, some seem like they need to help, some seem like they’re badass, some seem like they’re intelligent and well rounded, some seem like they could use a good smack on the head.

However, I’ve begun to look past all of these snap judgments and notice something very interesting – the two kinds of people in this world are those of the body and those of the mind.

“Well, that’s an… Interesting thing to say” you might be thinking. I’ll admit that this realization took me by surprise when it first came into my mind; after trying to dismiss it as an ungrounded assumption (like I do with most thoughts) I found it was there to stay, which forced me to investigate it further. 

No one can be completely “of the mind” and no one can be completely “of the body.” Everyone has a body, and everyone has access to the mind, however being 100% in tune to one or the other would either mean that you’re floating in the ether or trapped as a stone somewhere (it’s not the best analogy since both mind and matter are inseparable, but you get my point).

However, some people (like Jordan Peterson) are naturally “of the mind” than other people (like Dwayne Johnson) who are naturally “of the body,” and from what I’ve observed it looks a little something like this:

Those of The Mind

  1. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone but they think, and they think a lot.  Complex ideas, mathematical formulations, architectural design, analysis of history, complicated concepts, and studies of countless different subjects are some of the things they like to think about/do when they aren’t sleeping. What these people can do with their mind is based on their particular skill set; some can memorize an entire deck of cards in 10 seconds while others can explain that “the meaning of life” is a gigantic hoax that should be known as such.
  2. While very mentally capable these people tend to be physically lacking in some way; some are completely crippled such as the late Stephen Hawking, some may have trouble speaking for one reason or another, while others are simply smaller than most other people. I’m not sure why exactly, but almost all POTM do have a physical deficit of some sort, however, having a physical deficit isn’t necessarily indicative of large access to the mind.
  3. They often find modern society very boring or very interesting; the ones who find society interesting tend to take part in it so that they can understand it, and the ones who find society boring go off and do their own thing in their own way, usually with a streak of brilliance. Sometimes there’s a balance of both, but usually, it swings one way or the other. Sometimes they feel rejected or left out since most of society consists of “people of the body.”
  4. The more of the mind, the less life is lived in the physical world. People who are of the mind can live through situations inside of their head without needing to act them out
  5. They tend to be forgetful about everyday things; Albert Einstein, for example, used to paint his door orange so that he could distinguish his house from the others inside of his neighborhood. They don’t mean anything by it, that’s just how they are. 
  6. Lastly, it’s very hard for POTM to feel fulfilled in their life. These people spend so much time in their mind that they forget all about their emotional life; the longer and more often they neglect/ignore their feelings the further and further they stray from feeling meaning in their lives.

These points are the main truths about people of the mind even though there are a lot more than what I’ve listed here. 

Those of the Body

  1. These people don’t have as much access to the mind as POTM do, but instead, they have rich and fulfilling emotional lives. They tend to follow social norms and feel quite fulfilled with going to work every day, spending a Saturday at the bar with their friends, listening to popular music, wearing popular clothing going to school/college for a particular career path, marrying, and having kids (sometimes while very young), paying mortgage on a house and payments for their vehicles, etc etc.
  2. The more “of the body,” the more stubborn and obstinate. This is because they know how to feel fulfilled and they are going to do whatever it is that makes them feel fulfilled no matter what.
  3. They often have at least semi-active if not fully active social lives, and they often find partners quite easily.
  4. The more of the body, the more life has been lived in the physical world instead of the mind. These kinds of people “go through a lot” and some gain a large amount of respect from their peers, depending on the environment.
  5. They suffer from ailments of the body but also delight in pleasures of the body far more than POTM. The more “of the body,” the easier it is to process certain events that would either give POTM traumatic memories or be “too much to handle.”

Besides what I’ve written here, I’m positive that we all know someone in our lives who is “super smart” and someone who “doesn’t want to change.”

It is simply that some are naturally in-tune with their minds more than their bodies, and some are naturally in-tune with their bodies more than their minds.

But why should I make this distinction known? What’s the point?

The Gap

This is an issue that hasn’t been addressed very often (maybe at all?); people of the body and people of the mind have very, very different ways of approaching life, and we let these differences keep us from helping each other.

For example, POTB look at POTM as weird and quirky. They look at them with an eye of suspicion, almost as if they need to prove themselves worthy of something. They take their advice with a grain of salt and keep moving forward in their ways without even considering the effects of their actions. They tend to ostracize and belittle POTM (sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously), seeing their ways as valueless and stupid. 

On the other hand, POTM look at POTB as people who aren’t very smart. They think their company is dull and their values need to evolve. They think that they “just don’t get it,” and perhaps some even think, “It’s ok that I feel lonely, I’d rather be alone than participate in this kind of society.” They may think that POTB are people that need help. Or, perhaps, they’ve already gone off and joined a society that’s more suited to their own views without giving traditional society much thought whatsoever. 

People of the mind must consciously go through the sufferings and pleasures of the body, and the people of the body must consciously decide to find God (hence the popularity of religion). I am not suggesting that everyone of the body become a Christian – far from it, they may “find God” which I’ve explained in another post.

It is often the case that someone naturally in tune with the body slowly becomes intellectual and/or mystical in their quest for God. Obversely, it is often the case that someone naturally in tune with the mind will find spiritual meaning in consciously playing the game of the physical world.

When one or the other finds a balance between the body and the mind the world stops to watch them for a moment before moving on in hopes of finding the balance for themselves.

This is why we need each-other; people of the body can help people of the mind experience the experiences they’re pulled towards, and people of the mind can help the people of the body find God through knowledge and wisdom.

Conclusion

It seems to me that the alienation of the two kinds of people is happening on a very subtle level at the moment. I suspect, however, that the gap will continue to increase until it becomes noticeable to both kinds of people that they’re “missing something” from their lives entirely, and I fear that day may come faster than we expect.

And so, urgently, I am writing this post as a first step towards the solution of this problem; people of the body must accept and help people of the mind, and people of the mind must accept and help people of the body. In this way, we can build trust between us once again and live fulfilling lives as human beings!

Confidence and Anxiety are Polar Opposites, and Why It’s Important to Balance the Two

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Quick Fact

-Just like light and day, confidence and anxiety are total opposites on the emotional scale!

Intro

I’m making a bold claim by saying that confidence and anxiety are polar opposites, just like black and white, masculine and feminine, light and dark. However, we’ll look at the definition of these two words and we’ll see what I mean!

The Definitions

Confidence is described as, “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances,” or as “faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way.”

Already, we can see an upside and a downside to confidence. It’s important to be aware of the power and ability you actually possess since it helps give you a sense of self (aka ego), which is a very healthy feeling if it stays at this level.

The real trouble comes from taking the second definition too far; overestimating our own abilities or potential leads to too much ego, which is really where it gets its negative connotation from. If we have too much ungrounded faith or belief in ourselves, especially if we’re trying something new, or if we’re out of our element in any given situation, then we come off as brash, arrogant, egotistical, unapproachable… You know the type.

The definition of anxiety is “Apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill,” or the medical definition, “an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one’s capacity to cope with it.”

In other words, there are situations involving certain things, thoughts, or people that we aren’t confident enough to move through; sometimes we don’t believe in our own abilities and that produces a feeling that we call ‘anxiety.’

‘Grounded’/’Ungrounded’ Anxiety and ‘Grounded’/ ‘Ungrounded’ Confidence

Sometimes, however, we feel anxious because we really don’t possess the knowledge, skillset, or capability to work through a situation properly. If someone decides to learn construction as a trade then they won’t feel so great if they switch their career and become a chef simply because they don’t possess the skillset to work in such an industry and make money. (He might have learned to cook beforehand of course but let’s say he didn’t for the sake of time.)

This kind of anxiety isn’t something that goes away from him just because he reads a blog article; it slowly transforms into confidence as he learns the skillsets needed to be able to work and thrive in a kitchen.

It’s important to know whether your confidence and anxiety are grounded in reality or not. If you’re like me and you feel a pang of anxiety because you’re about to go to work, then the anxiety isn’t very grounded in reality because I’ve been doing the same kind of work for a year and a half now, and I’ve been through enough to know I’ll make it through the day. If, though, I’m hanging off the edge of a cliff about to die and an avalanche starts to shoot down towards my face… Well, that’s a shot of adrenaline I’ll actually need to find a hidey-hole somewhere!

I mention this because I see a lot of people (especially young men) who are very, very anxious for no apparent reason whatsoever. Sure, most of the time I don’t know anything about their personal life, but what I do know is that they’re in a safe place at that moment with thoughts and/or feelings bothering them about either past or foreseen future situations. I call that ‘ungrounded anxiety’ simply because they aren’t confident in their actual capabilities to make the situation happen as they want it to.

If you are capable of doing something and/or making it turn out the way you want (whatever “it” might be) then there’s no reason to feel anxious about that particular circumstance. If you’re feeling anxious about something and you really don’t have the skillset to overcome it then I call that “grounded anxiety.”

Instead of running away from it (by medicating yourself or otherwise), it’s best to find the skill set you need to build and build it up enough to take care of the situation properly. Slowly, over time, grounded anxiety turns into grounded confidence whether we’re conscious of it or not.

“Grounded confidence” is confidence based on actual ability. If someone is confident in their ability to build a house because they’ve been building houses for 40 years then they have grounded confidence when it comes to building houses.

“Ungrounded confidence” is when someone creates confidence with their mind, out of nowhere!

For example, if someone tells you they can build a house but don’t have any actual experience building a house then it’s very possible that they’re operating from a place of ungrounded confidence. These kinds of people can seem egotistical, arrogant, etc, even though this isn’t a fundamentally unhealthy aspect of life – ungrounded confidence can be an amazing thing to manifest!

What About Medical Disorders?

If someone is diagnosed with something like GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) chances are it can be linked back to a traumatic event(s) that happened early on in that person’s life. I should mention I’m not a licensed professional and that if you feel anxious all of the time you should try more conventional methods of helping yourself (like seeing a therapist/psychiatrist) before reading the rest of this post.

If you have been medically diagnosed with any kind of anxiety then it’s important to know that you are the one who’s producing it. You may be thinking, “That’s not very fair, I was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain that has to be regulated with medication” or something along those lines, but you are the one who is keeping your reality the way it is, even if you’re using your subconscious mind to do it.

This kind of thinking might be confusing to most so I’ll explain further; I am merely pointing out that the part of you that circulates your blood, grows your bones, pumps your heart and digests your food isn’t something that is beyond your control, it is exactly what you are doing at this moment!

This means that if you have a genuine medical disorder that cannot be transcended by introspective questioning and intuitive back-tracking, it is still a part of you and it is keeping the medical disorder the way it is. This means that it is your responsibility to help yourself in the best way that you can, although this is certainly easier said than done.

To end this relatively short post, I’ll say that grounded anxiety and grounded confidence are both healthy when experienced in their due amounts; we do enjoy learning new things and perspectives after all! However ungrounded anxiety should be identified as such and changed into its grounded version, or disidentified with and healed/changed into another feeling.

Why? Because if we find out where our ungrounded anxieties lie then we can realize that we don’t need to worry about them, which will provide more energy to build the skillsets to turn grounded anxiety into grounded or ungrounded confidence!

Also, if we are lacking in confidence we can produce it with our mind and have it that way!

Conclusion

Thank you for reading! I’m truly grateful for your presence, and I’ll see you in the next article!